What I Want for Christmas | Life through my Eight-year old Eyes

I want to see my life through my eight-year old eyes. Relive it or perhaps watch it once more as though watching a movie.

I want to see my grandparents old trailer back where it stood all of my 34 years.

I want to see the pussy willow tree back by the edge of the old driveway and feel its soft blossoms and then get in trouble when I tried to climb around within it.

I want to sit under the shade of the pear tree on a hot Sunday afternoon on the old rusty glider with its white paint chipping.

I want to ride my pink bike with the big banana seat up the gravel road and soar up the small hill behind the corncrib and weave in and out of the lilac trees.

I want to smell the combination of fried chicken, homemade rolls, homemade noodles and baked beans drifting through my grandma’s open windows.

I want to stand beside my grandma in the kitchen as she teaches me how to roll and cut those homemade noodles.

I want to sit on my grandpa’s lap and play the marble game of Aggravation on the wooden game board he made.

I want to play whiffle ball with my cousins and cards with my aunts.

I want to explore through the old vacant log house and spit grapes at my cousins.

I want to hear the laughter of a family that use to be and will never be again.

I want to jump off the old green porch and relive the lazy days of those slow Sunday afternoons.

I want to taste my grandma’s fried bread and laugh at and with my cousins.

I want to run through the clean sheets swaying in the breeze as they hang on the line.

I want to see my grandpa’s old garage and all his old license plates hanging on the door.

I want to lie on grandma’s old couch on a hot summer’s day while she watches her stories.

I want to make a big mess playing house with my cousin for hours and hours and laugh at my aunt who cleans it up the moment we stop to eat.

I want to taste my grandma’s homemade gravy that was so good, I would eat it with just bread.

I want everyone to come together around a small tabletop Christmas tree and exchange small gifts and enjoy being together.

I want to see my grandpa get mad at losing a game of yahtzee and throw the dice behind the stove and catch grandma cheating at a game of cards.

I want to taste grandma’s homemade meatloaf and help her make homemade coleslaw.

I want to help grandma snap beans and watch grandpa make sauerkraut.

I want to play in the snow with my grandpa and ‘roll’ it over the hills in his old red car.

I want to call home sick from school and then go for ice cream when grandpa picks me up.

I want grandma to chase us around the yard threatening to whack us with a pancake turner for saying something bad that she taught us in the first place.

I want to hear my grandma’s rotten laugh and my grandpa’s voice.

I want to hear the sound of the creaking floor as grandma walks down the hall.

I want to walk into the owl covered room and have the peace and comfort of feeling happy and being home.

I want to stand where the big hill begins to slope and watch the sun set behind the tall pine trees and have that child-like security of feeling things will never change.

I want time to slow down and the ability to hang on to each precious moment.

Most of all, I want families, intermediate and extended, to love each other and treat each other as so. I want them to continue to get together and celebrate their history, reminisce about the past and share the future. I want family fights to disappear and selfishness to be erased. I want children to hang onto their childhood longer and cherish it greater and for everyone to realize that time is a precious gift not to be squandered so enjoy and make the most out of each and every second.

Merry Christmas Everyone!


My Story – Discovering Faith

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.


486287_471714099532921_708343599_nToday, I am happy to say that I love Jesus and feel he and I have grown very close over the last few years. As with any relationship, there have been ups and downs and all arounds but our foundation is strong and the desire to grow is ever-present.

However, it hasn’t always been this way. I wasn’t raised in church nor did I grow up hearing God’s word or learning God’s ways. I have a few snapshots of memory that take me to a church or two with my late grandfather but nothing vivid enough to give me that ‘AHA’ moment where I was first introduced to God. No, I have nothing concrete or exciting to share on how it all began other than this one innocent childhood moment that sealed the deal.

I mentioned that my earliest memories of church involved my late grandfather, and I only held onto a small glimpse of what must have really been since I was so very young when those moments occurred. My grandfather passed away a few short days after my 9th birthday. From what I remember, I handled it fairly well for a third grade child who was grandpa’s girl. What I didn’t realize was the very small seeds he had helped plant on those few occasions when I tagged along with him to this church or another.

IMAG0324Up until late in my third grade year, I had very long, super thick, wavy strawberry-blonde hair that was often difficult to manage. Personal appearance was not high on my list of priorities back then so I generally just kept the mane at bay with a simple plastic headband. On a good day, the headband might even match what I was wearing. As with hats, jeans, etc., I had a favorite headband that fit just right and held my hair the way I liked it. Imagine my distress when I was rushing to get ready for school and could not find that headband. I was distraught. I had no idea what to do. I searched and searched and could not find the headband anywhere. I simply could not leave the house without it.

As cliché as it sounds, I had the sudden realization that all I had to do was pray and ask God to help me find it because I couldn’t find it on my own. So for the first time in my memory, I knelt at my bedside, stressed and alone, and closed my eyes. I don’t remember praying about anything other than asking God to help me find that headband. I didn’t thank him for everything I had. I didn’t pray for others. I am not even sure I closed with an ‘Amen.’ I only selfishly asked him to help me find that headband. Sure enough when I opened my eyes and started to look around, there was that headband sitting on my nightstand in plain sight. Now sure I realize that it was probably there the entire time and in my frantic state I simply over looked it, but that moment was enough to seal the deal. It was that moment that I realized God heard my prayers. It was that moment when my faith spouted and began to grow. It was that moment I met God and decided to walk by faith.


**This blog is based on my own personal research, thoughts and opinions. If your opinions differ than mine then we can agree to disagree, no negative comments needed. If you appreciate the message in anyway, then please feel free to comment, like, and share with others. **

Those Days

Despondent – feeling or showing profound hopelessness, dejection, discouragement, or gloom. Synonyms include disheartened, downhearted, melancholy or blue (Dictionary.com).

Despondence. A feeling that surely everyone has had several times throughout their lives. A feeling that we all want to avoid but it is inevitable that we cannot.

I have been thoroughly excited and motivated about getting everyone I know and love to come to church. I truly want everyone that is a part of my life, no matter how great or small, to experience the peace, happiness and blessings I have since I have strived to see God’s will for me and act upon what he wants me to do. There are days when I get a great response which makes me fly high and want to keep working hard and branch out further. Those are the days when the ideas come to me in abundance. Those are the days when I am flooded with excitement as I work on the next Sunday School lesson or talk to a parent about their child coming to church, or am hit with ideas over and over again on serving and outreach. Those are the days that I finish one task for the church and look around for more to do. Those are the days when understanding God’s love for me is so bright and vivid. Those are the days that keep me going.

Then….there are those days of that dreaded despondence. Those days when church attendance is low or there are no ‘likes’ or ‘comments’ on my endless facebook posts regarding bible verses, church invitations or pictures of church events. Those days when I am let down once again by close friends who promise me over and over again they will be there by my side during worship services or Christian events but yet they never can seem to put forth the effort. Those days I long for one best friend during my time on Earth that shares my beliefs, passions, excitements, sorrows, interests, etc and is willing to put as much into a friendship as I do. Those days when the paycheck doesn’t go far enough, a child doesn’t make the team, a family member is sick and the sky is covered with grey clouds. You know, those days that make you wonder why you do anything at all. Those days that make you want to give up because your hard work isn’t making any differences anyway. Those days when you just want to stay in bed and not face the world that has let you down so many times. We have all had…..those days.

I will be the first to admit it is hard to look beyond our earthly troubles. My petty problems are really nothing compared to so many others suffering around the world. On those despondent days, I have to continuously remind myself……

Trust in him….

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13).

When sadness takes over and it feels like I am all alone, I must remember that God is always with me. I am never alone.

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore” (Psalm 121).

When others bring me down…

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).

When I feel as though I don’t have the strength to continue…

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).

When I don’t know what to do or where to go…

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Being a Christian doesn’t mean that you say a prayer and POOF! Suddenly the world is all butterflies and rainbows and life becomes easy. I believe it generally means that life is going to be tougher because you learn to understand what God wants for you and you feel convicted time and time again as you learn to recognize even the smallest of sins. Even those in Christ have days of despondency…for anyone who has ‘those days’ Remember…Trust in Him.

Follow this link for an uplifting song by one of my favorite artists and remember to Trust in Him…

**This blog is based on my own personal research, thoughts and opinions. If your opinions differ than mine then we can agree to disagree, no negative comments needed. If you appreciate the message in anyway, then please feel free to comment, like, and share with others. **