“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” – Proverbs 12:18

words 2Words. They are meaningless when they promise good things with no action, cutting and hurtful when used with no regard and although intangible, they often cause more pain and scarring than even the most tragic of physical accidents.  Damaging words can linger in the air for only a second but in the heart for a lifetime.

Words can be the most severe weapon used in wars we shouldn’t even be fighting.

I struggle to fathom why injurious words are thrown around carelessly towards those we love and benevolent words are reserved for acquaintances or strangers who pass by. Often times, it is our own personal unhappiness, miseries and failures that manifest and spill over resulting in a verbal attack by words or tone in a direct shot to hurt our loved one. I strongly believe it is unfair, immature and cruel to expect those nearest and dearest to us to involuntarily stand as our targets; but why do we do it? Why do we toss in little jabs, bring up past experiences or use sarcastic snarkiness knowing it will hurt the person we are unloading on. Do we really want our spouse, child, parent, friend, etc., to feel as poorly as we do? Do we not want those we love to feel good and lifted up instead of tore down and damaged. Does it really make us feel better by making others feel worse?

Scripture gives us verse after verse telling us not to use words to hurt others.

“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” – Proverbs 12:18

A sword! Really? Would you pick up a sword and deliberately hurt someone? Anyone? Let alone those you love the most in this world. We all have had something said to us at some point in life that causes us to feel that seizing, sharp ache just as though a sword was being thrust through our hearts. I am sure as you are reading this, those words flashed through your mind like an old blinking neon sign and brought that old familiar ache along with it. Do you truly want to say something that causes this pain in someone else?

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

How many times have you thought about what you would like to say in the heat of the moment, quickly disregarded it to avoid the drama, and then threw caution to the wind and said it anyway. Did you enjoy the argument that undoubtedly followed? Do you wish you could have held your tongue and said something more gentle and resolving instead?

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” – Ephesians 4:29

Very simple point. If you can’t say anything nice; don’t say anything at all.

“But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.” – Colossians 3:8

“A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” – Proverbs 15:4

When speaking to those you love, even when circumstances are less than favorable; don’t point fingers, spin situations in your favor, point out flaws or be deliberately cruel. You love this person, right? So why try and be purposely wicked?

“For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” – Matthew 12:37

“I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak.” – Matthew 12:36

Saying what you want regardless of the damage it may cause may make you feel like you have won the fight for now. You may feel triumphant knowing your spouse gave up or your child backed down but you will be held accountable. Do you want to stand before God and revisit every time you let your tongue have control and revisit every hurtful, damaging word you uttered? I hope the answer is no and that you begin, right now, to think before you speak, practice kindness and gentleness with all you meet and examine your hearts before throwing your words.

Always keep in mind that you cannot turn back the clock. A spoken word cannot be unsaid so make them pleasant ones!

I want to hear from you!

What do you do to tame your tongue?

 **This blog is based on my own personal research, thoughts and opinions. If your opinions differ than mine then we can agree to disagree, no negative comments needed. If you appreciate the message in anyway, then please feel free to comment, like, and share with others. **


Taking My Own Advice

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” – James 1:2-4

mjI have had a rough few weeks. I have been low on energy, strength and hope. There are days when even the most routine tasks take every ounce of my being to complete. I have even given up on a few things I used to be quite passionate about. Many factors have created my Eeyore demeanor but the big disappointment is, I know better. I know 100% that my disheartenment and forlornness is because I have put too much hope and value in things other than Christ. This was one of the main points I learned from studying Gods at War by Kyle Idleman.  I know that everyone gets in a slump now and again but shouldn’t I be able to bounce back more quickly than some? With all the bible studies I have done and sermons I have heard, shouldn’t I be faster at putting on the full Armor of God and fighting off satan and the painful blows he is throwing my way?

“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:17-18

This scripture tells me that even though I live in Christ, there will still be moments when I will feel ‘crushed in spirit.’ These words even point out that God will be close to me when I feel this way. Feeling down once in a while is normal but knowing this doesn’t make it any better. How do I make it better? To be honest, I haven’t had the strength to open my bible or even pray. I knew that both of these would help me climb out of my funk but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Every time I would get ready to make the effort, something would distract me or someone would interrupt me with more negativity and knock me further down. So now what?


I started thinking about those who message me seeking comfort, help and guidance. If one of those folks sent me a message describing this scenario, how would I respond to them? I would undoubtedly refer them to the above scripture and one of my previous blogs, ‘Those Days.’ I would encourage them to go to God’s word themselves and get their butt in church for sure. However, if they were down so low they couldn’t begin the journey back up themselves, then I would be sure to pray for them. I would pray persistently for them until they had the strength to take a step themselves and then I would pray some more.

I Thessalonians 5:17 tells us to pray continually and since I couldn’t escape the cloud long enough to pray for myself, I asked a few friends to do it for me. This is another reason why going to church is so important. The friendships in Christ I have formed are there to help me when I can’t help myself. Now I know that asking a friend or two to pray isn’t going to instantly dissipate that dark cloud surrounding me, but I am a firm believer that those prayers have already created a silver lining. I know things will get better, the cloud will lift. The hopelessness will lighten in time and I know God has not left me. As he said, he will remain by my side. In the mean time, I am doing my best to:

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” – Romans 12:12

I want to hear from you!

What advice have you given others that you wish you followed?

 **This blog is based on my own personal research, thoughts and opinions. If your opinions differ than mine then we can agree to disagree, no negative comments needed. If you appreciate the message in anyway, then please feel free to comment, like, and share with others. **